emotional.

so I tend to be a woman who keeps "her world" to herself. if you know me (which you probably do if you are reading this) you know I am pretty much labeled "hard to get to know." I wish this wasn't the case but I've always had a hard time letting people into my life. I'm sure there are many reasons for this and I should probably seek therapy for those. ha! oh well. anyway, my point for writing this is my new "journey" in this life. this journey is one of opening a window to "my world." technically, i'm probably just opening it a crack but hey, you gotta start somewhere.
this all started several months ago when I was asked to do the announcements for our church. I felt God had been placing a burden on my heart to help in some area with the launch of this new campus, but being a mom of 16 month old twins, I was finding it difficult to find my place. to tell you the truth, when I was asked to do this I reallllllllly wanted to say "uhhhh I'll pass" but I felt this was Gods way of letting me help so i said ok. pretty sure this was God's big kick to get me out of my comfort zone of hiding in the crowd. hard to hide when your head is on a ginormous screen in front of the church. still makes me uncomfortable. ok, so back to my point. tomorrow morning we are continuing our series ONE WORD where they will be playing a video of my family sharing our story of how God is our PROVIDER. for me...I'm terrified. people don't know me know me. not many have heard me cry. not many know what makes my heart hurt. so here I am...telling you...the world that listens so well and doesn't answer back. ironic I suppose. I really feel like this, this period in time, is where the walls fall. this is where God wants me. he is pushing me in front of others to share..to be me..to show He is in me and he wants me to let more people in to see him.
so yes, I am emotional. maybe it's the moving, maybe because my girls are growing too fast, maybe because I've seen a young family lose a father and husband this week. I just feel like God is moving.. not just in my life but all of us. this series at church is encouraging so many to share their story! I pray God is breaking walls in all of us. I pray he makes us bold! I pray God speaks directly through our story tomorrow as many will hear it. I pray people hear truth. I pray God launches all of us into a world where we share more and have less walls in the way.
thank you God for using all of these things to show me that you need me to open "my world" so others can see how much I need you and how much I love you.